It’s been quite a while since I’ve posted anything on the blog. I had taken some time off for some major life changes. I actually started writing this particular post a few weeks ago. It’s taken me some time to process my thoughts on how I to relay my message. Big changes have happened to me and my family. I emphasize “big” because as we all constantly go through changes, this one sits more on the edge of really big.
A little over two weeks ago I gained a husband, stepchildren, a new last name, a new home – a new life. So many changes. My full-time job ended, I packed up my home, my daughters, and I navigated through the bittersweet goodbyes and new hellos. At times I have felt like a lost child in a room full of strangers. Other times I’ve woken up next to my new husband and felt a complete sense of peace. There are so many blessings in these changes, so many. God has been working at change in my life for several years and He sure went all out with that recently.
These recent changes are no surprise to those who personally know me, they’ve been expecting them. I’ve been expecting them. My children have been expecting them. But, change is hard. It’s hard for everyone, it’s something a lot of people shy away from. I’m no stranger to life-altering changes, they’ve occurred in my life for years. Good ones, bad ones – but always for a reason.
It’s hard to let go of routines and comforts. It’s hard to trust God to take care of the “new” and the unknown. It’s human to fear change or be anxious about it. Giving into the “new” means giving up control of our own plans and trusting His. The moment I think I’m surrendering to His will and not my own, sometimes my human nature kicks in takes a detour down Anxiety Lane.
A few months ago this happened to me. I was driving to an appointment and I started dwelling on the “what ifs” for the future – fear creep in. Listening to doubtful voices around me and allowing past fears to surface will do that. That fear wasn’t from God, it never is. I asked for peace and still laugh when I think about how clear God spoke to me and how naive I was to hear it at the time. Randomly a familiar lyric from Semisonic’s Closing Time song replayed in my head that entire day.
“Closing time. Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end…”
Stuck in my head for days. I honestly don’t even know the entire song but I can definitely tell you that it’s not a song about God’s plans. Can God use it to speak to me? Of course, He can! This one simple lyric has powerfully defined my last month.
Closing time. The end of the road to one part of life so that a new one can begin, it’s time to close that door. And it’s okay – it’s good, it’s actually SO good. It’s how growth happens. I know this because in every change I’ve grown. God has used these opportunities to push me out of comfort zones and I’ve flourished. Sometimes even those around you need to know it’s okay too, it’s a ripple effect.
We can’t begin one chapter until we have finished the one we started before that. I’ve finished a lot of chapters, it’s time to close the whole book and start writing a new one. Whatever change you are going through or facing, just remember it’s okay. And how exciting it is going to be if you are allowing God to navigate!
“I will teach you the way you should go; I will instruct you and advise you. Psalm 32:8
Cheers to clean slates, new chapters, and brand new books!